Somebody Told Me I Could by Dianne McTaggart Wall

Author:Dianne McTaggart Wall
Language: eng
Format: epub
ISBN: 9798986710204
Publisher: Strong Anam, LLC

I had many more experiences as a music therapy intern. Looking back on them now, I’m happy to say they made my life easier to live. The sum of one’s experiences do shape life’s future decisions. With the attitude my parents instilled in me, believing I could do anything I wanted to do but differently than others, I chose to work with some dangerous patients. It never entered my mind that they might perceive me as more vulnerable than other hospital workers.

One of those patients was a man on the locked ward, who I will call Ron. The psychiatrist in charge of the locked ward asked me to work with him, to try to reach him through music therapy techniques. I was told he had been a violent patient when he was first admitted, but his medications had controlled his outbursts for several years. The psychiatrist felt as long as the medication was working so well, I would be safe working with him. Being young and confident—and a little stupid, I think—I never thought about the possibility of being hurt. I knew male orderlies were always around the locked ward, so I knew I’d be fine. I accepted the challenge and began Ron’s music therapy treatment plan.

At our first session, he didn’t talk much. Since he was highly medicated, I expected a subdued response. I put relaxing music on in the background, and asked Ron to draw what came into his mind with the music. He drew many violent pictures. One was of a very large man choking a woman with blood all around her. The woman in the picture was very small. I asked who the man and woman were in the picture. He told me he was the man, and the woman was his mother. I calmly ended our therapy session and left the ward. I was very happy the locked ward was always locked. I showed the psychiatrist the pictures and reported details of the session. He gave me Ron’s file to read, so that I could come back and discuss it with him. It turns out that Ron’s mother was a schizophrenic herself. She admitted him to the hospital over fifteen years ago with the help of the police, after she had been attacked by her son.

When I went back to discuss Ron’s file with the psychiatrist, he told me he had prescribed medications months earlier that were working very well. They had reduced the patient’s violent outbursts completely. He was hoping music therapy might be a good mode of therapy for Ron. However, after our discussion of Ron’s drawings, along with notes I had taken while observing him during our session, the psychiatrist decided to cancel all future sessions. My music therapy supervisor agreed with that decision as well. We all knew that the possible violent behavior was not controlled enough for taking a risk to any music therapist. I totally agreed with their decision!

The time at the mental hospital passed quickly, and I was coming to the end of my six-month internship.

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